This is a weird one for me to talk about but here goes anyway. A couple of things. First off a month ago to the day I posted about how my chain had appeared on the floor unbroken but with the St Christopher missing. That pendant still has not surfaced despite disappearing in a small space and probably never will. I should say from the day my wife bought me that chain over 2 decades ago it has remained unharmed around me neck until a month ago. Also like I said yesterday I am not religious. So this is a bit of a strange thing to right about as I still do not have a religious atom in me.
But I am drawn to things like a magpie. Compelled even. In the last month I gave been continually drawn to a Crucifix in the mantelpiece despite it holding no symbolism for me. I feel drawn to it and also feel a gap around my neck needing filled. This though has always been the wrong shape to fit any gap in my life. Yet I feel drawn to it. So much so when I prayed for help I told myself I would wear it if I got what I asked for. And so now u wear it. I asked my wife who it belonged to and she was not for and when I uncomfortably asked if I could have it citing my reasons why she was OK with it.
Again I gave to say I am not religious and as such there is a part of me that feels uncomfortable wearing a crucifix. At the same time though I feel a need to wear it for another reason. When I said I prayed I was not down on my needs, hands clenched and head tilted to the heavens. It was instead a mental internal request. To be honest I find it all a bit confusing. It's at odds with my inner self but at the same time there would have been more internal conflict not wearing it. Maybe in time things will become clearer.
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