Oban

One of the earliest posts I made on this blog, 7 years ago, was about a time my wife and I got stranded up North when our car broke down and we ended up having to spend some time in Oban- the post was about a little island named Kerrera and can be read here. It was before we were married and despite being forced to stay there we had always said we would go back one day. So we did. Its more than 13 years since we were last there and quite a distance. My youngest daughter went away with her friend for the weekend to Blackpool so my wife decided to make a weekend of it so the other two would not miss out. So she booked a family room at a Premier Inn in Dumbarton to break up the journey.

It rained the whole time we were there but we did not allow that to dampen our spirits. It meant though there was no a lot to do except look at the views. We had lunch in a little cafe. The one we had been in all those years ago to heat up with soup and bread was gone so we chose another which was nice enough. To be honest it was not a long stay. If we'd been able to stay there then we could have done more but knowing we had to get back to Dumbarton with the rain not giving up and with a couple of other things to do before that we had to leave. The bad weather was not the only coincidence we found when we left. All those years ago a road was blocked by a fallen tree and so we were forced on a detour. Driving back to Dumbarton we came around a corner just before Loch Awe to find a policeman there. Even before he approached we knew what was coming. The road was closed. Instead my wife would have to take a detour of over 100 miles back through Oban and down the West before crossing over again. Unsurprisingly my wife was shattered by the end of it. It was all in the dark and rain. Sunny spells brought out beautiful rainbows but the majority was gloomy. We arrived at the hotel just in time to catch the kitchen before it shut. The kids were starving. From there it was to bed.

September in Scotland. We should expect that kind of weather. Of course. The next day though was a complete contrast. It was beautiful. On the road back from Oban we had planned two things. I wanted to stop off at Loch Awe and walk to Kilchurn Castle. We were not able to do that and it was too far to do the following day. We had also planned to go to Balloch and Luss- the latter where Scottish TV show "High Road" was filmed and a place we had last been when the girls were young. That we could do as it was not too far. It was a good end to the weekend. Its a beautiful part of the country to visit. The photos don't do it justice. All in all a good weekend. They just keep getting better each time.

Eighty

Prior to my continuing journey towards recovery a birthday in 2006 stuck in my mind. It was my mother-in-law's 70th birthday in August 2006 and the party was in Perth. We all had a great night but by that time I was having a real hard time being away from home and just walking any kind of distance. It was remembered as a false dawn. At the end of the party which was at my inlaws home there was a family friend in a wheelchair who I pushed home. That for me was a big breakthrough because as I said I was having trouble outdoors. The month before I had been in Manchester which still remains the last time I was out of Scotland. And while there I stayed indoors at my sister-in-laws. Even when her husband offered me his car keys to go to the shops I refused because the half mile journey was too much in my head. Anyway pushing a wheelchair for a mile seemed a turning point. We'd had alcohol at the party and to me that meant it was all in my head. The drink soothed my worry and allowed me to walk freely. Simple. But as it turned out at that point it was the last time I would be in Perth for 9 years and in fact from that day it was a long time before I even left my town again.

Ten years on it was time for another landmark celebration and this time an 80th birthday of course. This time last year it would have been a no go for me even though this time it was only a few miles away. My wife and her sisters had arranged for the party to be held at a hotel and for all parties to stay there. It was close enough that I could actually walk home if I needed to but thankfully that was not the case. I have to say I was taken back by the rooms. It cost us less for a family room that it would have done at a Holiday Inn or one of those types and yet the room was beautiful. It turns out they have two outbuildings aside from rooms in the hotel and we were in one of those which turned out to be great because we were well away from any late night noise and also on the ground floor. The only downside was that we did not spend a lot of time in it. Its a hotel named the Avonbridge Hotel and a grand little hotel it is too. It is the little sister of the much bigger Bothwell Bridge Hotel which is in the same style. It was a nice surprise and I am sure at some point we will be back at one of them.

I went for a long walk when we arrived as the hotel is situated close to Chatelherault Country Park meaning I could walk through the woods for as long as I cared to do so. Another good thing about the hotel is it was a sort of return as we once had a meal there so a lot of memories came back. Actually not a great memory as the meal I had years ago had a head staring up at me and so I could not eat it- no idea what it was but it was like a big insect. The party itself went well and the highlight, I felt, of the gifts was a canvas of the grandparents with all their grandchildren taken in the back garden. It was actually me who took the photo on my last visit up there. It was a good night and a good catch up. The following day everyone went to Chatelherault where the kids played in the park before a spot of lunch at the museum. Its been a very long time since everyone was together and hopefully it won't be the last.

Scarecrows

Bothwell's Scarecrow Festival is something I have long wanted to attend in full and have been edging my way towards doing so over the past few years. I am drawn to the sense of community. I love the fast that most people make the effort to join in and make their own scarecrows to display over the 10 days of the festival. This sense of community is something I know exists in many different places but although I have stayed in many different places I have never been anywhere which has had that togetherness. Growing up I went with a friend to Bathgate gala day and experienced it as well as Broxburn, Whitburn and some others. The Linlithgow parades topped them all. Where my parents and sister live now they all join in for the main event too. Lacking it here I seek it elsewhere and Bothwell is the nearest place.

It started a few years ago with my wife driving through Bothwell. I knew about the scarecrows but anxiety was so bad even just driving through the town taking photos was difficult. There was no way I was getting out of the car and was glad just to get a few blurry photos from afar. Last year I was able to get out. We went one night by car and parked then walked about for around 15-20 minutes looking at all the different scarecrows. That was good but there is more to the festival than just the scarecrows and so this year I as determined to do more. This year I wanted to experience the procession and the open day as well as the scarecrows. Things had definitely chanaged. A year ago it was a big leap walking about in Bothwell. Now I am able to walk there, stay there and walk back. I had done it many times. This time I was going to make a day of it if I could.

On the plus side it was an unbelievably hot day for the middle of September. It was like the summer we never had. T-shirt weather. That in itself lifts the mood and with so many people gathering in one place I knew the atmosphere would be inviting. The only negative was I was the only one who wanted to go. My wife was meeting her friend later and the kids were in no rush to get there to I headed out for the start of the procession.

It was a great day and turned out to be a very long one- a good long one. Lots of people lined the streets for the procession which I followed from start to finish. The highlight was the bikers. Those Harley Davidsons are deafening. The guys would stop to let the procession walk on for a bit then quickly speed up behind them which in close proximity was something to see and hear. The procession ended at a primary school where was an open day. Live country music added to the atmosphere and there were all sorts to do. Later my wife and kids arrived with her friend and her family. We spent a few hours there before going out into the streets to look at all the scarecrows with the kids. It was a really good day out had by nearly all.

The places we did go

Years ago I was working my way through a book about ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) which was very kindly given to me free but did not help me get out of the hole I was in. Its a strange thing really because I look back at that workbook and see everything in the books that helped me is right there in those ACT books too. In fact the things that helped are in most of the self help guides I have read. So why does one work and no the other? Each case is of course different so its not like a broken leg where there is one fix for all so that is a factor. But I also think its all in the delivery. The books that helped me were written my a man who says she had Panic Disorder too and from reading the books I believe that to be the case. What most authors don't get is the anxious mind. The most popular self help involves a large number of "methods" all in one box. Its overwhelming. Most books are thick. The nuggets in these things are hard to find and harder to keep a hold of. The anxious mind finds it hard to focus and concentrate and then ultimately retain. With this in mind a method for recovery has to be concise and repetitive. That is what the books I used are and they also contain many other clever subtle methods. But I am off on a tangent here.

The ACT books for me nearly got there. The delivery was not what it should have been because I think they were written by people who had not been there. But they brought a lot of good ideas with them to try to get there points across and those did stuck but in the end I think there was just too much to take in and a few big errors that let them- like asking people to write their own epitaph. A personal opinion but one I know a few others have too. Anyway one of the things that stuck with me were the references to Dr Seus' "The places you'll go". I like it. I can see its relevance. It came to mind again when I was writing the last post and looking through the photographs I have taken recently. I see that in between posts we, as a family, have been to many different places I have not mentioned because they were not enough in themselves to make up a post. It is though worth noting them even if its just for myself to go back to later even if some are a return to places we had already been recently. Anyway below are some photos of places we went to these past few months that I did not blog about- a couple of revisits included. The kids are more frequently looking to their mum to go on drives and it means whether its at night or the weekend we are getting out and about. Which is good. The point is that I have been a lot of places that I have not blogged about so I thought its worth leaving a note. July and August were big months for me over the summer holidays and we tried to fit a lot in which meant for less idle time and to be honest it took a lot out of me so at the time the desire to blog was low. Time for a catch up then.

PS My wife would kill me if she knew I posted I pic of her. Seemed apt as she is the reason we have been able to go to all these places for which I am eternally thankful. 

(Eaglesham)

(Strathclyde Park)

(Loch Lubnaig)

(Callander)

(Biggar)

(Portobello)

(Girvan)

(Turnberry)

(Bathgate Hills)

(Falkirk)

(Bridge of Allan)

(Gourock)

(Irvine)

(Dumfries)

(Greenock)

(Port Glasgow)

(New Lanark)