Lost

  

As I said previously my wife and I have been taking the dog places where we are mostly alone which has been good for us all. Above is the "secret garden" which is not secret really of a garden but all locations need a reference point and that is the name we have given it. Here the dog runs around with a long training lead tailing him. It's flat and easy to keep an eye on him with the only concern passing trains to the top right. There is a fence but I'm not sure there are no gaps and as he has a tenancy to run full pelt at moving vehicles it unsettles me a little do I don't let him go too far.

The other day we followed a high path we had never been to explore. It was off the beaten track but not enough to make it impassable. All good until the dog disappeared. Two things followed. As I looked about a big male deer went charging past my vision but still no dog. Then finally on the main path I saw the dog charging past. I shouted and he heard but could not locate me so vanished. For 5 minutes my wife and I searched with no luck, it felt 10 times longer. Panic set in.

My fear was he was gone. My fear was in his fear he would keep running petrified and lost. Then other fears. The train line- I thought back to that day a deer ran past me and out in front of a moving train chased by a dog. Within 5 minutes walk a busy dual carriageway. That was to the north. To the south a fast running river which had taken many a human life and at least one canine one. I thought of dogs off their lead. I thought of the idiots on off road bikes I saw 2 days earlier. I thought how I had to get home. With panic overwhelming me all I could think about was leaving my wife alone to search while I raced home. The panic was so bad.

I tried to fight it but it was making me tremble. My breathing again shallow. My vision blurring. My wife had gone one way while I searched another. I wasn't really looking. I was just roaming. Then something caught my eye. I turned and up a slope in a densely wooded area I could see a black figure. Still. I was sure it was a deer. I called out but nothing. I then began to think it might be a tree or something but I walked that way any way. I started to calm and as I approached I could see it was the dog. But something felt wrong. Why was he still. As I called out he didn't move, didn't even look my way. He was rigid.

He was fine, unharmed. But the stillness and unresponsiveness meant I kept my distance. I just had a feeling he was going to go for me. He looked spooked. He looked frozen by fear. Instead I went to lead him by his lead but it was tight. He was trapped. I followed the lead and felt spooked myself. It was snagged on a stump. But not quite snagged. To me it looked tied. That bothered me. There was no one around but it looked tied. Later I would wish I'd videoed it or taken some pics but I was too spooked by the silence and stillness of the dog. When I told my wife she looked and noted the knot and also noted it was not there before as she had unravelled it before giving it to me as she always does. Of course it probably knotted of its own doing but it's never happened before. Also the lead had come off a few times as its designed to do that. It's a strange well but I'm just glad it all ended well without me running off.