My own childhood was a lot more adventurous than that of my kids yet for various reasons I worry more and this week I have had a reminder why. In late primary years myself and many friends wandered streets, played football and even at times went exploring. I remember a few of us wading waist high in water on the way to caves in Mid Calder some way from home or at other times cycling from village and town to village for hours on end. The football games used to only end when it got too dark to see. My own kids don't have any of that. Mostly they are indoors unless out with us though we are trying to encourage the oldest to go out more as she is at high school now and really should be socialising- though from the looks of it socialising is primarily done virtually.
Finding the balance between protecting your children and giving them enough freedom is something I, like every other parent, have struggled with. One of the advantages of my youth was the roads were mainly laid out in rings and even when a road had to be crossed it was via either a bridge or underpass which was one of the advantages of a new town build to order. Here in this mining village you cannot avoid roads and even the half mile walk to school involves crossing three roads- the last tended by a lollipop lady. I never had that to contend with. That bothers me. As I have said before there are a few motorist who either seem in too much of a rush or too distracted to stop at a red light and that has brought about some close calls. Thankfully I am cautious that way. Even if its a green man I will not cross if a car is approaching. The kids are not.
Its not just motorists which are distracted. My kids and possibly all kids are distracted and that worries me. At school the kids are given instructions on crossing roads but still I find my kids standing on the edge of kerbs or even walking on to the road without looking sometimes. Its electronics. Here am I typing this just now with no knowledge of what is going on around me. I have to look up to see who is in the room. I see my son on the Wii U with his headphones on, own little world. My wife is curling the oldest girl's hair but she in this dim light her face is illuminated and the thumbs are a blur with the phone in front of her. I head the youngest girl laughing somewhere down the hall- no doubt a clip on Youtube. Wherever you go people have their faces in electronic devices. It has its place but I cannot help feeling the world is getting more and more introspective as a result.
At this point in my life I am truely thankful that I can get out now further afield and for longer. I find I need it now. I need to escape the virtual world we seem to be sliding into. I need to get out into the real world and walk. More and more my wife has started joining me and she has really been enjoying it. At one point we were standing at a wall peering over and watching deer obliviously roam. We have walked to lots of places and I have been able to show her many things I used to just take in on my own. Its been good and in some ways its been needed. I cannot now go a day without going out. I feel a need to do it now and enjoy it regardless of the weather. With the kids too. We found that asking the kids if they wanted to go out was the wrong way to go about it so now tell them and they definitely need it.
The youngest two then acquired a desire to go out. It came about when the boy got a scooter for his birthday at the end of January. The youngest girl had a shot and wanted one too and as she had savings she got one. So going to school and coming home has been via a scooter and even on certain walks they have been able to bring them along. But again I go back to distraction. I found myself getting frustrated. Mostly it was great walking to school with the kids learning to ride their scooter and every day looking more balanced, getting faster and staying on longer. The frustration though came from this lack of safety. Several times I told both of them to stop well before the kerb only to find them lurching towards it with cars flying past. Then on Friday on the way to school having twice told the two of them to be careful going into the park because its a fast slope and not to go to fast themselves I watched in a mix of horror and anger. Its one of those moments we have all experienced where you see something happening but can do nothing about it. As I warned the boy again I turned around to see the girl shooting down the slope too fast and knew I could do nothing about it. As she tried to turn the handle bars the scooter collapsed and she went face first into the tarmac. My stomach turns just thinking about it again. Her face is in a terrible state with cuts and grazes. The blood streaming down her face was from her lips. Her legs are full of bruises. But worst of all she broke her arm too. Thankfully she is fine now and also that my wife was not at work so could take her to hospital but its an accident which has been coming and I can only hope that there is a purpose to it- but doubt it.
It takes me then to thinking about my own childhood has opposed to theirs. As I said my own childhood was less protected and yet I never needed a stitch and not did I ever break a bone. Already two of my three kids have broke their arm and two of three have had to go to hospital with what turned out to be damaged tissue. And at least two of those four incidents have been down to, I believe, not being mindful despite being more protected.
The kids are growing quicker than I would like. When I first started this blog the boy was a baby. It reminds me of a verse that made my wife cry when the oldest finished nursery which was about a little girl walking away and when she turned around to wave she was a young woman- I don't have the literacy capacity to give it the justice is deserves. My oldest girl will be a teenager in a few months but since starting school already looks and acts like one. They may be getting older and I may still be overprotective but I still feel deep down they are not ready to be let out into the big wide world yet but its coming. And until that time its important that if they are not to go out alone then we can at least go out as a family. I have to also remember that when I started this blog I could not take the kids out or go out as a family which is one massive bonus in my life.
