I cannot say with 100% certainty but from memory I think this was a first this new year. I am now into my fifty first year and for the first time in my entire life I brought in the bells on my own- well me and the dog to see in 2023. It was strange. I think back to my teenage years spent with family and friends and into my twenties always around people. Not just new year's night but new year's day and days after in pubs and houses and sometimes even with strangers. Then I met my wife and from 1998 onwards I spent every Hogmany with her whether it be out somewhere or more recently at home. The event has meant less and less to be honest but never did I think I would be spending it alone. But I did. I am not sure really why it bothered me so much but it did. It made me anxious and yet the reality is it was just another night. It made me so anxious I was going to keep the TV and radio off until after the year had elapsed but in the end I gave in and listened to the countdown. I had a dram at the bells. I took the dog out a final walk. Then I fell asleep.
Not the most exciting start to the year. There was no looking towards the future and making big plans for the months ahead. No resolutions to break before the week is over. It was just me and the dog and a mostly normal night except for a short period of anxiety over something of nothing. Looking back I think really it is no different in other respects to years past even going back to my late teens. It is a time of building anticipation and excitement and then after that short moment it all sort of falls flat and the reality that it is just another day sets in. Much ado about nothing really other than a reluctance on my part for change.
In looking forward though I have to say this 2022 was as poor a year as I can remember so my hope is tht it can only get better from here. I have been making some progress again which I hope I can carry on and get back to where I was this time last year. Although the news is filled with nothing good at the moment I do hope everyone has a better and more deserved 2023 than the years since COVID arrived have brought us. All the best.
