154 Money

 

" Money "

They say that some people are so poor all they have is money. I can only think that came from the mind of someone not penniless. Or maybe not. It actually sounds like something the Dalai Lama may say. I don't know, not sure where it comes from. And I do get it. I know someone who was gifted a substantial sum of money in a will from an unrelated man they had visited regularly when he had no one else. This person also lost a child. I am 100% sure given the choice they would sacrifice the money for another outcome. And in this year of all years that is even more the case. So many people have died. So many others have been adversely affected permanently in other ways. For most the financial crisis looming is a secondary concern.

But like it or not we need money. When we don't have it the spirit, the mind and even the physical being is negatively affected. If you have 8 oranges but need 2 for the mortgage and 1.5 to live on each week you get by. What though if a power bill arrives claiming 2 of those oranges and an mot requires another 2. What is left? Then you realise its Christmas and those oranges are needed to buy their presents. How does that work? So you look at your wife and she looks back both thinking the same thing with the same worried look. Except its actually just her thinking that. She thinks it cannot get any worse and you know this. You ask yourself: how do I say it? You ask: how do I tell her? The great secret but now be revealed. The reason you can't sleep. The reason you feel ill with dread. There are no oranges left. And yet despite this you need 2 for a debt you can no longer cover. What to do?

Perversely it feels like there will at least be relief to some degree in no longer carrying the burden alone. There may even be some hope in looking for a solution together. While you have no one to help you there is a chance your wife might even just to get through the end of the year. And suddenly it all looks less scarey, it looks better. Nothing though has changed. You look at the situation again and all the dread comes crashing in again cold and dark. You need money and so you need a job. You can't work because you have a problem holding you back. This problem has a possible solution but a lack of money keeps it stuck. And so the cycle goes on and on.