Altered realities

  

In the future what will people make of it all? A while back I had a real appetite for genealogy and the holy grail was always photographs for me. I'm not sure if that was the case for all. I've seen enough episodes of "Who do you think you are?" to know many have lots of photos of ancestors that I don't. My gran had the main source and chucked cinefilm before being stopped from chucking photos too. But there are not enough. I craved finding a pic of my maternal grandfather who was an incredible man but killed too young before I was born. Likewise a photo existed of my paternal great grandfather who died in his early 20s but I have never seen it. These for me are things greater than money.

Anyway mucking about with an app I produced the above picture making myself look 20 stone or so. How long will these exist? I know from having teenage girls that fake tan, nails, eyelashes, contacts, glasses, hair and do much more are all the rage. In years to come what will our descendants find which is actually authentic? It's scary just like the reanimation I mentioned before. Ironically though I found out my estranged parents told my aunt and uncle that I had given up on life and was mentally gone, beyond help. That narrative and the above photo would paint a very alternative reality so just how much of the past can we believe? 

Edging Forward

  

The fact that I went further in one direction is not the point here. Its the fact that having done so not only was I not fighting the urge to turn back but I was actually fighting the urge to push on. Normally when doing graduated exposure the first goal is to push out to the line in the sand. Second on the list if the first is achieved is to cross that line. Third and final is to push within reason as far as possible. Like being tied to home by a bit of elastic as I have said before. This time though it was like the elastic had snapped and the only thing holding me back were the recent demons of doubt. 

I pushed on into Bothwell on Monday to a point I have not been for a few years. And it was OK. And really part of me wanted to push on further. I am glad I didn't. 5 minutes later I had a crash. The power and energy just went. It was hard enough where I was but 10 minutes further out could have been a disaster. But there are good signs there. These little glimmers of hope happened first time around unexpectedly and led to bigger strides. I feel it is happening again and that feels good.

The photo above was taken in woodland in the way back. Strange I saw my first deer for a while but it was not like others. I actually thought it was a boxer. It was the same sort of colour but by the time I had my phone out it was gone. I have never seen deer here. So many new expensive houses are being thrown up here that I fear the deer have nowhere to go. 

Midnight creeper

  

A little nocturnal thief has been on the prowl again. Just look at his guilty face. No chance of me just taking the belongings back. That needs a bit of smoke and mirrors. I had to wake my wife to clear up when I took him out first thing as he needs to be out the way to do it. And as soon as we came back in he was straight for the bed then a little bit aggressive that his new possessions were gone.

They are possessions. He doesn't sit and munch them. He just takes them to his lair and guards them. As I type he is growling at anyone passing as I dropped a slice of lime in the kitchen and he was off with it almost before it hit the ground. We know when he does it. He moves faster and his body is lower to the ground as he takes his swag. I have told my wife and oldest countless times about leaving their bags in the floor but it keeps happening. I would have thought the chewed cards would have been a wake up call.