Benidorm

 I cannot believe it is 30 years since me and 7 friends went to Benidorm on holiday. It doesn't feel like yesterday but it doesn't feel so long ago. I remember so many things about it. It was the first holiday I paid for myself.

Fear of the never will

 Emarassment is an emotion no one likes to experience at varying levels. There are those who take it in their stride or maybe even hide their reaction well. For others at the other end of the scale it can be devastated and leave an eternal scar. I have had my fair share, probably more than most. It could have been that time I was waving at a girl I thought was waving at me only to find she was waving at someone in another car. Or the time I got in a car full of strangers thinking they were offering me a lift when it was actually for the person who stepped in after me. The fact I remember them so vividly tells the mark they have left. I have tons of those going all the way back to my earliest memories. 

Today in the shops I was thinking about that. I spent the whole time there thinking I was going to collapse. I was sure I was going to fall down and make a prat of myself. With good reason too. Last night I got about two and a half hours of sleep before getting the boy up for school this morning at 7:15. The night before I managed just half an hour. That is not my normal and to be honest I have no idea why. Tonight I maybe need to have a stiff drink late on after a hot bath and let sleep take over. So there is that and there is this remnants of COVID which have meant I have not been out for a walk since overdoing it a few weeks back.