Panic Buys

  

I hate to say I told you so but I told you so. Except I didn't need to say it. My wife and I had a debate of sorts two days ago concerning panic buys. My wife was of the opinion that a threat of lockdown would not lead to panic buys whereas I was convinced that is where it would lead. My wife's stance was the sane one. Why would it? This time around shops are well stocked. Lessons will have been learned: there is enough for everyone so no need to horde. Completely logical and how it should be in a sane respecting world. But that is not where we live. My point was that there were enough selfish people to start a chain reaction that would lead to panic buying again. There are enough people who only care for themselves regardless of whether it was the right thing to do. That is why last time there were people having to bin excess they bought and some who even had no regret doing it as long as they had enough.

Last night we were in Farmfoods and a guy came in with two young girls. He grabbed about 5 packs of toilet paper which must have held about 12 in each. His young girls grabbed an additional 1 each. Straight in and out. That was all. The start. 

Tonight we were in ASDA and went to the pasta aisle. All the cheap pasta was gone. Still some pasta left but nowhere near as much as usual. The toilet paper aisle was a similar story. We were able to get what we needed so no problems but the signs are there. Others will see that and it will spur them to stock up. This is how it starts. It's crazy. I really do hope lessons have been learned and stores limit multiple buys before this spirals again. 

Restricted

 

The need to put further lockdown restrictions in place is growing as quick as the restriction rate itself. Earlier in the week the UK government announced restaurants and pubs were to close at 10. Like the car following the car in front Scotland will no doubt do something similar tomorrow with enough of a variation to make it look like an original idea. To be honest I don't see that it will make too much of a difference. I mean if it was me wanting to go to either then going to these places before ten would not be an issue and if I had the infection I'd spread it just the same. Equally having just had a drive to push people into restaurants it seems wrong now to squeeze them again.

Personally I think this is the wrong move. I feel the best course of action now is forcing people to wear masks. There is an argument that should have happened from day one like some other countries but its easy to say now. Without doubt though when masks were introduced it should have been enforced. Even now all the signs about social distancing remain in shops and messages about cleaning hands still hang but I have not seen one sign concerning masks. 

Even tonight at the shops we had two woman pressed right up against the back of us at the checkout without masks. There is no deterant. And as so many are doing it there is little point in questioning them or you would be doing it constantly. People know they should be wearing masks. The fact so many know but are not doing it is where the real problem lies. Enforce this and there is no need to close down businesses early who are already paying a great cost in making their establishments safe. It makes no sense to me at all. 

The second

  

A second wave and subsequent lockdown looks more likely than not. I get the feeling this was the plan for some time but to avoid anger we have been drip fed what was really always inevitable. Maybe I am wrong, I hope I am. Bit by bit the land is given excuse to tighten the rules until soon it is nationwide without us realising it and without that major headline that would impact we're it done overnight. Its coming. If it does though will if end there.

It's the strangest of times. I can't imagine how this is for a young person. Nothing can go forward. It's like we are collectively sat with our wheels spinning in the mud. I can feel the frustration of those who just want to get back to normal and I feel the fear of those scared of what lies ahead in this continual uncertainty. I can't see anything getting resolved any time soon. 

The picture was painted by my daughter during lockdown for her art assignment. It's weird because there is nothing startling about it now. At the time though it looked like this would be over quickly and masks were not in use. Changed times. 

The Dandy

 

I don't want to make every post about walking but as I've only started getting out again in the last 2 weeks and it's been eventful of late I'll stick with it until there is nothing left to say. I may have to have a rest day though because in the past few days I have really been struggling physically and that invariably causes more anxiety the further I go. Tomorrow I might skip a day if its still a struggle. Then again sometimes when I accept that I get a second wind and back ready to push on again so if that is the case I won't pass it up.

The pic above is from a path named locally as "the Dandy". It apparently relates to the the past layout of the area where at one end the plebs like me resided and following this path led to the big expensive houses where the dandies lived. To the left are council houses and to the right is a big private house which was once a convent hence the high walls. The path actually doubles as a road here as ahead are new builds which a man stopped to tell me one day his daughter lived in and gave 5 rooms, private garage, etc. No road out though apparently which does not surprise me given house builders dont make money providing conveniences like that.

Anyway I am going off track here. I felt really exhausted today and did not want to go out. I pushed out but decided to forget my routes and go elsewhere close at hand. That brought me here. I've not been here in a long time but even as I got here I was already very anxious. I was uncomfortable. That was not the best time to go into somewhere basically enclosed. Panic. The worse so far. Shallow rapid breaths. Weak shaky limbs. Brain spinning like a top. Eyes blurry. Balance all over the place. It felt too far to push on but not to meant doubling back and adding to my journey. That said though adding to my journey also meant getting back to familiar territory quicker. In my mind that was more important. The voice was telling me to do it but I knew also turning back would be my first set back. I pushed on and eventually the anxiety eased. I should also point out when this happens I am suddenly not tired, exhausted, breathless and all the rest. Like I said yesterday though the deepest groove here was the panic not the recovery after.

It shows how much familiarity counts in these early days. Of course you can only do that by visiting places. That is OK. Its just important to see that and work with it. In this case if its going to cause anxiety then do it in stages until confidence increases and then repeat. It's not like that forever though. Just these early days. It is about confidence. Last time just a few years ago I got to a stage where I was fully confident in going anywhere. That needed small cautious steps like this first. I just need to be wise and patient then in time I'll get it back. 

Time Shift

  

Bothwell Bridge is a local landmark I have captured many times. It's not anything spectacular. It is though something a little different nearby. It's quiet-is and a little severe e. It's peaceful mostly. The arera was, and maybe still is, known as the Lido. It used to be a lot bigger before an expressway cut a large chunk out of it. There used to be gardens and flowers. People used up paddle knee deep. Whenever I am down here M uh mind goes back to those old photos I have seen of lots of happy families down here despite always being here alone. It's strange in a way.

Anyway I did not expect yo be here today and certainly not any time soon. I had a walk 2 days ago where I went way further than expected but still a long way off here. I had no time limit on getting here but at the earliest I thought October. I got near expecting fear to kick in, breathing to labour and all the usual stuff but nothing, just normality. I got to the top of the steps. Just a photo. Could not get a clear view. More steps. I was at the bottom. Might as well walk along a bit. All good. Then suddenly a strange feeling.

I looked at some benches. One time they were broken by vandals. Later a community group installed new ones. I remember seeing them for the first time. Impressed. They were still intact. But then this strange feeling: I'd been here recently. I remembered it clearly. If was like deja vu. I'd been here in the past few weeks. Yet I knew it was impossible. It had to be at least 6 months. But as I stood there I was more and more convinced it was days rather than months. Then another weird thing. A question: Am I still agoraphobic? Wow! What was happening. I felt no anxiety. I felt I could push on further. When did I last have to turn back? I could not remember. I sat for a bit watching the river glow, calm.

It was only when I left to head home that things changed. Doubt crept in. Of course I was still agoraphobic. Breathing started labouring. My legs went weak and heavy. My vision started to blur. I began regretting coming so far and all those panic episodes were recalled with it. For a few moments I was in danger of being swamped again. Thankfully though if passed and I g it home gone. I think what has happened there is that because the dog won't go far and the restrictions of lockdown I have not gone far enough this year to panic. That helps but not long term. It was like when I managed to get to Girvan in before lockdown where I was OK until I had to face the road back. 

I'm not sure why I became convinced I'd been there lately. My phone app for walks and my phone's gallery both prove I have not been down there in the last year. I don't know if it's because in the past 5 years I have been there so often or I dreamt it but it felt real. And there was some strange comfort in that. 

School Rules

  

The kids are back at school nearly three weeks now in Scotland and I can't say with any confidence that it's been a good thing. The main bone of contention from day one were those pesky face masks again but if anything at least the message was clear: they are not needed. I didn't agree with it then but at least everyone knew where they stood. Well sort of. My wife was telling me some kid had been taking abuse for wearing a face mask. Were that not bad enough what turned the stomach more was that it was apparently parents doing the mouthing off. It turns out this kid lives with elderly grandparents. Quite shocking. A kid protecting his grandparents should not have to take that and possibly the kid had little choice in the matter. A lot of kids have to rely on grandparents because those who care for them are at work. I went to my grans after school when I was young as both parents were at work. Much like the care homes up here I think the oldest and most vulnerable up here have yet again become an afterthought.

In the short time since the schools returned many clusters have popped up and the reproduction number has risen with it. Yesterday our little town had its first outbreak with two kids and a teacher testing positive at one of the primary schools. I can't say I'm surprised. There have been no safeguards, no easing in. I had a bit of lurgy last week, better now, but so did my daughter and she had to stay off. No one asked to have her checked. There was no test followed by track and trace if needed. That's just one school.

Anyway the way things have gone has now made the Scottish government consider facemasks in school. Straight away my back was up when I heard they were considering "asking schools" to wear face masks in corridors and other enclosed spaces. Surely if this is a consideration because they fear infection spiralling it should be enforced rather than suggested? That lack of conviction angers me. Yet again it leads to doubt, confusion and ill feeling between those who wear and those who don't. It seems like this country keeps finding itself in polarising situations which is fine for debate but not when it turns nasty like it usually has. 

So why was this not implemented from day one? What I have heard is that it's because of a change in thinking by the WHO. That for me is not good enough and a clear sanatizing of hands- blame shifting. If it was already "mandatory" to wear face masks on public transport and in shops why did they need the WHO to shift their position to do it in schools. And even at that they are still dithering. If they do follow it through and do the right thing they will no doubt pass the responsibilities on to the schools. I really do hope it does not take more tragedy for them to act because to me that looks like how this is heading unless they tighten things up. Scotland and parts on Northern Ireland have resumed first with England and Wales set to follow. If there are lessons to be learned I think the latter two would do well to introduce face masks from day one.