Keep your distance

The slowest of times continues to grind. Its surreal in a way. Its like the world around us is being reclaimed by nature. With no council workers cutting grass everything is overgrown and continues to do so. We are waiting for something not sure when or if it will arrive. We are like mime artists moving behind invisible walls to protect us and never entering the space of another. Its all very strange and yet frightening as well.

Still not everyone is convinced though. On Monday I had to take the dog out for a short walk. Given the situation I knew it would be no more than 5-10 minutes so I put lunch in the oven for the boy which needs just a couple more than that. While out some guy came over to see the dog. I took him not to get too near given how unpredictable the dog is. But he went straight in and put his hand out anyway even though the dog was baring his teeth and barking. The though then started licking his hand and then went back to being aggressive then licking his hand. And so on. The guy didn't seem too fussed. He started talking about how he loved dogs and asking about my own. I got lost in the moment given I don't talk to many people normal and haven't talked to a stranger in a good few months. It was only when he mentioned COVID that reality crashed in. He said it was a nonsense and that he had worked right through with no problems. First off he was around people, in my space and making contact with the dog. Secondly the cheese and tomato wraps I'd put on for the boy were bound to be on fire. I had to quickly make an excuse, virtually drag the dog and get home quickly. 

The wraps were ruined but thankfully I had enough tortillas, cheese and tomato to make more. After chucking the bricks in the bin I went to the fridge to get the ingredients out. It was only then I stopped. I had not washed my hands. So stupid but at least I caught myself in time. I let myself get flustered because of the situation. I need to be more aware in future.

The guy was nice enough. But it does annoy me that people can totally disregard other people's views because of their own. Because he thought there was no danger he just carries on regardless without asking if I agreed and not really caring either way. We had a guy run towards us a few months ago in the woods with his dogs and I told him to stay back as our dog was scared around other dogs. He the proceeded to keep coming saying his dogs were good dogs and they would be fine. We just walked off. I could hear him muttering something before heading off in the other direction. Some people just don't listen.

And this I am afraid is what may keep us stuck longer than we need to be stuck. There are people who don't listen and do what they want regardless. That is what puts other people in danger who abide by the rules. This is something I have tried to get into my oldest's head but she will not be told either now she ahs a boyfriend and another home to go to when it suits. On that score I hope I am wrong but only time will tell. 

I can hear music

 

Sometimes the smallest things to others are the biggest things to me. I was on my daily walk today minding my own business when I passed a jogger as happens some times. I noted the ear buds. Or is it air pods. The terminology escapes me in much the same way as earphones and headphones does. Anyway it got me thinking: when was the last time I listened to music outside? I really couldn't say. I am talking about personally rather than in a pub or the like or in the car. Just something I chose to listen too. And I reckon it was 2006 at least. Maybe even longer. 15 years. Incredible.

So I went into my pocket and pulled out a cheap pair of earphones that came with the phone, not the ones above which are there only as a representation of the title. I carry these because the speaker has broke on my phone and even loudspeaker is hard to hear. So if I make or take a call while out I use these. They are poor but serve their purpose. I put them in then looked to see if I had any downloaded music on my phone as I do not have a data plan that allows me to stream outside. One song: "Enola Gay" by OMD. No idea how it got there. So I listened. It wasn't the joy I hoped for but that is nothing to so with the song. In fact much like the reason I stopped listening to music outdoors I felt agitated by it so turned it off. Shame really but maybe an indicator sometime down the line of wellness. Maybe some day I'll go out for a long walk listening to music and enjoying it. Maybe an audio book first and then maybe some classic and finally my own music. I can't help think though as soon as the music played I was reliving being in that car again in the daily angst filled journey to and from work. Maybe perseverance is required. I did after all not even make it past a 3 minute song. 

We are all at least spending a bit more time out doors at the moment. On sunny days we can sit outside for a bit to feel the heat on our skin and the air brush past. In those times its hard to see that we are living in cells. There are more people passing that there were. I think mentally people need to get out as long as they keep to themselves. 

Creature of habit

 

Two shirts, a jumper, a pair of denims and a top with a zipper in a black bag bought for me as a present for Christmas or birthday, only 22 days apart. A jacket from Primark hung behind a bedroom door. Two shirts still unpacked and ties to go with them for job interviews. A pair of swimming shorts for my first overnight in a decade at a hotel with a pool. A t-shirt bought in tk maxx two or three years ago. A t-shirt from Italy given as a present two years ago. A pair of trousers and and a belt still in the asda bag from a month ago. Many more I have probably forgotten about.

Still I wear a fleece that is older than all millenials on the earth. I rotate between two pairs of trousers bought years ago tied by a belt which is hanging together by thread. The list goes on. I am a creature of habit but also a creature of comfort. New stuff doesn't always feel right and sometimes takes some wearing in. It's ridiculous. It's the reason also that we have so much clutter. I need to get on top of it or at the very least not buy anything else. 

On the other side its nice to have new things standing by and not have to pay for them. Its like having a little store I can pick from. There is comfort in things worn. Old jeans feel much better than new ones. I'd like to smarten my appearance but every time I go for what is nearest at hand. I am not sure if I am alone in that regard or whether even its a generational thing because boys in their twenties and older seem to invest a lot of time in their appearance. 

Weeks are still dragging by. We are still in lockdown and covid is going nowhere fast so I may waffle more over the coming months. 

Main Street

 

This is the Main Street in my town. Well technically it isn't. For reasons I don't know the town is split into a high and low part. In the high part there is a Main Street which runs through Burnbank and into Hamilton. This street here is names "Glasgow Road" because that is how it used to be. One main road to the major city. This is the bigger and busier road running 10 mile or so to Glasgow city centre via Cambuslang, Rutherglen and all the rest. Each night when I take the dog out it is empty. Not that it is ever bustling but never this dead. There are takeaway shops so people would be in and out of them as well as drivers for deliveries. Pubs with people standing outside smoking. All sorts of things to keeps bodies on the street. Here though there is a solitary car passing through and that in itself is rare. As dark arrives there should be a good volume of traffic in normal circumstances but everywhere is shut. Everywhere is locked down. It is eerie.

I feel a bit privileged to be walking about alone. Again I have to thank the dog for that. He is my license to walk freely and have the town mostly to ourselves. It is great for him as well. He is reactive apparently so the lack of humans and other dogs helps calm him too. I enjoy these times. I walk more than I do in the day because I feel content. I will enjoy that while I can and the dog too.