Today was a bit of a write off unfortunately with my world enveloped in pea soup. In some ways I was glad not to venture out too far with that excuse note in hand but in other ways I know another day in is another day lost. Its possibly a visualisation of my current state. Its an anxious fog clouding my world as I wait in this limbo for the DWP to get back to me, while also dreading it. Nothing out there looks the same as it does. None of it looks inviting. At that lies beyond what cannot be seen is more anxiety.
Right now I could really do without that. In order to deal mentally with what is coming I need to lower my anxiety levels. Going into panic is not the way to do they of course. Yet at the same time not going out will send me slowly backward again and as a result that knowledge drives anxiety. It's just the way it is and has always been- or the last 15 years at least. I just have to find a middle ground which is not perfect but the compromise is better than the alternatives. So I ventured as far as I could which turned out to be a little more than I feared. Tomorrow the fog will lift and I can only hope that too will be a visualisation of my anxious state.
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