Just one of those days when you wish you could just escape it all. Just one of those days when you just want a break. It's like exhaustion from holding up the roof eternally from falling in. Just one of those days when you feel smothered by the place you have found yourself in and knowing no amount of lamenting the regrets will change it.
Financial woes keep coming back at me. The fear that not only will no money come in but the route to find another avenue will be blocked forever. The kids are off. Its too noisy. Other things weigh heavy. So many problems and so few solutions. I just need a break. I need a break from it to go again and I need a break in my favour to turn the corner. Nothing is ever hopeless, I keep telling myself, but among the panic attacks and lack of sleep from dread I can't find that pinhole of light.
Anyway it will pass, there are solutions. I walked the dog today and saw this on the ground. I was hopeful it might be a portal to a better place but sadly not. Not even a hole to bury my head which was maybe a sign. The sooner I stop wollowing and the quicker I pull my head out the sand the better. There is no positivity in second guessing and negative narratives. I need to face what is soon and start looking for ways to solve everything. That is what today's message was.
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