Thankfully 2 days after completing the loop I have managed to do it in reverse. Not only is it 2 positives in quick succession but a quick escape also from 101 posts speculating and philosophising about managing to do it. It's done. Whether I can keep doing it is a whole different story but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that after a year and a half of not doing it I have done it. That does not eradicate doubt over doing it again but does over whether I am able to at all which is the biggest barrier.
Why was this harder than the other way? The middle point is a flyover with a busy dual carriageway underneath. That is not the problem as such but that is the point the doubts start to race in. In both cases my breathing goes shallow and panic kicks in. On the clockwise route its a gradual ascent from there. So gradual its almost unnoticeable. Anticlockwise, the reverse, is different. From here a slip road climbs up steeply and the path with it. From a state of breathless panic it's not the most welcoming paving to navigate. That in itself is its own loop of fear-tension-breathlessness and so on. It looks easy in words but words cannot describe just how uncomfortable a state it is.
Route done. The image above relates to a previous post about the colour red and the state of unreality, day 113,which comes from panic. Here today another red like the previous time in the same place. This time berries as opposed to a leaf. I am not sure of the significance if at all. It just seemed to stick out grabbing my attention along the way.
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