123 Confidence

" Confidence "

So much of panic comes down to confidence in the self. It is in some ways a battle between confidence and doubt. Doubt manifests as panic. Doubt to go on, doubt to cope and doubt in just about anything can turn the little anxiety it generates into a bigger panic. Confidence is required to counter that.

Right now completing the loop took a near borderline share of doubt and confidence over into a confidence majority. That is good of course but still there is a big bit of doubt there holding me back. When I step up to the line its the doubt generating the apprehension holding me back. That apprehensive refrain, anticipatory anxiety, is a doubt that grows enough to outweigh confidence in the battle of power. Its a fragile lead. 

I was thinking this today repeating the loop which gathered more confidence. It was enough to allow me a wonder further afield on the way back. Or "a field" actually as it was not much further away but through a large marshy field I had not traversed for a while. The fact I went that route told me I had an upsurge in confidence. I could feel it. Hopefully more will follow.