I previously posted about how I find mornings harder than night. This did not ease through lockdown. Because we got a dog every day is an early start even when my wife's work and the kids school was closed. Early by my standards I should say and those are the standards of an insomniac. I am not a farmer or a Baker. Those are proper early starts. But early in my own way. Early because I lie awake waiting for sleep to come and all that arrives is the light of morning and the first sound of birds followed by cars. And when finally I sleep I am as quickly awake again with the phone alarm sounding while the dog jumps all over me licking me awake knowing what the sound means.
And so I walk in a daze down the stairs in that limbo. My eyes need tested again. When I put on my glasses the sight improves but just not enough. It takes at least 5 minutes now or maybe more to see through the blur. The halligen lights have halos that are gone after I came back in. I stumble about the streets walking the dog thankful fir the lack of people. Mostly its a peaceful walking stupor but some mornings that anxiety kicks in early. Even in the few moments panic attacks I must push through the routine as the dog needs it. On the whole it's not my most enjoyable time of day.
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