After struggling with my return to walks yesterday I was eager not to repeat my mistakes today. I decided therefore to take it easy. It may though have had a negative affect. From the off I was monitoring the situation and ready to backtrack at the slightest flare. Even the best walks though have moments of doubt that must be passed. Today though was a fail as I backtracked quickly without giving things a chance. But it is a balancing act. Too little and you never move forward. Too much and you go back. The sweet spot to go forward is never easy to find. Today I ran from trying. It might need a bit of that to get my confidence up.
It's another indicator that if you have 59 walks then the 1 bad walk will overshadow the 49 good ones. Good walks leave no trace but bad walks scar. This can lead to the avoidance trap. I avoided the possibility of panic but that solidifies the fear. The perfect balance must be sought between doing enough to chip away at the fear without having to write off the rest of the day yo panic cycles which are no fun.
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