Magoo

 

I promised myself I would try to complain less unless there was something to complain about and to be honest there is nothing to complain about really. I do though want to say its been a very bad start to the year and doesn't seem to be getting any better. That said though I have to think relatively and although physically and mentally its been the worse start to a year I can remember its not been the actual worse start to the year. Two years ago my mother-in-law died in the middle of January. I remember in my younger days my uncle over the road died suddenly and unexpectedly aged forty at the end of January- on the same day as my son was later born. And on the boy he had his 14th birthday a few days ago which was cause for some joy and some head scratching as to where the time had gone. So in those terms its not been the worse start to the year but it feels that way. 

I won't drone on but I will just say the latest problem is my eyes. I've been having problems with them for the past  year or so but nothing to bother me much and temporary. Mainly its been very bleary in the morning and when I take the dog for a walk in the dark first thing the street lights are too bright. They are bright halos around the source. This lasts 20 to 30 minutes and after all is well. No problems. In the past week though they have got worse very quickly. They seem to be constantly blurry now making it hard to focus on anything that is not right in front of me. As well as that they are sore and nipping like hell at times. I looked in the mirror and was firstly surprised that even at that short distance there was no definition so moved in closer to see they are bloodshot. I keep having to rub them. My thinking is they are dry, they need lubrication. But even cooling the burning does not help the blurring. 

Most folk would go to the doctors- or maybe not. But that got me thinking. I think it was 20 years ago when something similar happened in the lead up to my anxiety problems. I was "normal" and working but problems were just starting. I felt lethargic all the time and felt off balance pulling to one side. I felt weak. I felt ill. And my eyes really hurt. One day I looked in the mirror and one eye had no white to be seen but instead placed by red. And I went to the doctors but my GP was not available so got a locum who was a female Turkish doctor and her time was obviously being wasted with this complaint. She prescribed eye drops and told me if it persisted to see an optician not a doctor. I used the drops, the redness came and went but the burning persisted. I don't remember any blurriness but then I wouldn't as it turns out. Finally I went to the optician for an eye test. That was done and the lady taking the test was appalled that I was driving about with such poor eyesight. It was only when I used glasses from there to drive to work and then didn't one day that I realised how bad they were. But there was also a problem and I cannot remember if it was an infection or just the eyes needing a clean. She told me I need to clean them with a bit of shampoo and water. That is as much as I remember but whatever happened the problem went away. Maybe not for good though as I remember a period after when I needed eye spray.

Anyway I went shopping and I decided to get a spray. I was wanting Actimist which I had used before but was astounded to find it is £12 for 10 ml. Shocking. Its basically just a water based spray. I decided to get the shop's own brand but although half the price it was still too much for what it is. So I am persevering with cold water chucked into my eyes and so far its made little difference. Anyone else would go to the optician again or maybe even just by the spray. If it persists I may have to do the latter because I cannot do appointments still. I may also shave my head. I get the feeling my hair could be a problem too. Its too cold just now to shave it though even with a woollen hat. This week has been freezing. The sods in charge of rigging our power bills have brought in the hike just in time for a cold snap. My only saving grace is I might not be able to make out the charge when it arrives if these eye problems persist.