Not Disney

I've got so used to the same answer that I barely register the response. Mind you there was a time when I had to spend a lot of time just coaxing an answer out of the little guy. He is dropped off and we go for a walk. How was nursery? Fine. Who did you play with? Always the same answer. Not today. No, not a one word answer either. A whole novella on how his little pal was not at nursery but in Disneyland and I knew what was coming- can I go to Disneyland one day daddy? Christ. No money and agoraphobic, what do you say? Of course.

The thing is he doesn't know what Disneyland is but is instead repeating what his sisters have said as they always obsess about it. And the irony is they have both been, the Paris one, but can't remember it. So its "a thing" you say as its something good. No I can't give him Disneyland and maybe never will but you never know so why kill the dream when a dream is all it is.

We went walking and walking and through the park and as I walk more and more and go further and further and stay out longer and longer I tend to be more at ease and notice things that would usually have passed me by as I raced rigidly from A to B and back to A again. For the first time today I noticed him looking longingly at the swings and the chute. Never noticed that before. Do you want to go on the chute? I didn't need to hear the answer as I knew by the way his face lit up what the answer was. Little things. Little things I couldn't do before but can do now and no its not Disney but its a start. And so he was up and flying down by the seat of him pants and waited and a nod and he was away again. Small things.

I was thinking to myself: why never before? He goes through the park every day to nursery with the wife and his sisters and half the time comes back that way. But he is in his uniform and we can't get that dirtied can we? Well we can when I am in charge. He was still in it today and skidding along the ground on the seat of his pants as he shot off the slide. I won't be popular later but I don't care.