McDonalds

I must be on a roll. Saturday was a slow day again but at night given last week the oldest girl missed out on a McDonalds we decided tonight to treat the kids. Twice in two weeks. Don't think we do this all the time. I can count on one hand before this year how many times we'd had a McDonalds. So all went out in the car. Last week the oldest had a party and while she was at that we took the youngest two to McDonalds. I had been wanting to try sitting in but we got stuck in a traffic jam which put my anxiety levels sky high and so we had to settle for taking the food with us.This time I was determined to sit in. And I did.

Not easy by a long shot but on reflection the same as the pub yesterday. Its something I need to keep in mind for the future. The first 5-10 minutes were the worst and I really just wanted to flee. All the alarm bells going off and the kids at the same time being too loud from being overexcited. Just not enjoyable at all. I waited it out and by the time we left over half an hour later I was fairly calm and in no rush to go.

Fragments of CBT return which I will go over when the time finally comes. Its natural. This is all new and this is all anxiety inducing so firstly I must accept I am going to get panicky in these situations. I have to accept it to happen and expect it to happen. When it does there are a few things I need to tell myself. Firstly repeat to myself its a "false alarm". Those two words sum it up. The perfectly normal and harmless fight or flight response has kicked in because of a false alarm. Accept it and remember its an adrenaline rush which is produced. A rush peaks but must always die down and looking back at these two days I have the evidence this has happened. Remind myself it may peak again and may peak again many times. Its OK. Just do the same again. But I only remember these things after the event because its been a few weeks since I did my CBT. I must get back to that quickly so these things are brought to mind at the time.

A good night then and the kids enjoyed having their dad there with them for a change. Better even that the cafe visit at the start of the year which was our first time out as a family because this one was miles away rather than walking distance. Hopefully the start of new things.