Almondell

My uncle Gerald never married but he did have a long term partner. I don't remember him socialising with any friends and their lives seemed to revolve around each other. I'm not sure he ever would have married as I don't think he needed it. Just like he refused to go abroad because he had more than enough here on this little island whether it was gong up north to the Highlands or down south to East Anglia it was enough. He loved nature. Most of the simple pictures he took were of wildlife and he had a large collection of books about wildlife. They also had a dog they would take with them wherever they went and when not on holiday one of the places they would take the dog was Almondell Country Park.

Its a lovely big park. Great for walks and nice scenery. I went there lots of times when I used to live in Livingston but had not thought about it for a very long time. It seems my wife had but quite why I don't know. It is where we ended up a couple of nights ago. My uncle died suddenly aged 40 and it was a shock to everyone given he'd gone before his 3 older brothers and mother. That was a very long time ago but I still remember it well. I am reminded on my son's birthday as its the same day my uncle died at the end of January. He died long before I met my wife and even though my gran still stayed in Livingston by the time I met my wife he had not gone through many times before my gran died. So my wife really has no attachment to the Livingston and certainly not to Almondell. Only once when we visited Livingston did we go there as she had her parents dog with her and we needed somewhere to walk it. But it must have left its mark.

We were out for a drive and heading out towards Livingston when my wife made the suggestion. It caught me out as its not somewhere I thought of going. It was resigned to the past and to be honest I had no desire or need to return. So I was not expecting it. My wife then asked how we get there. My mind was blank and remains blank. It unsettles me just how much I have forgotten in my bubble. I was in a place I grew up and my mind map was blank. I had no idea how to get to Almondell. I'd been there more times than I could remember but I could not remember how to get there. Although it unsettles me I should not be surprised really. Its been a very long time. I met my wife 18 years ago and by then I was already living elsewhere. Its explainable but no less unsettling.

We got there. So much expanse for the kids to run free and burn off all that energy. A lovely night weather-wise so my wife and I strolled at a slower pace. The walk was great and the scenery fantastic but not a lot that can translate into words. Like everything else it was though unfamiliar. I tried hard to remember any part of it from my past and I could not. None of it rang a bell. It was again an unsettling feeling. What has happened to my memory? Then my wife said: I don't recognise any of this at all. Phew. She mentioned a bridge her parents dog would not cross and I remembered that but we never saw that bridge there. There was a green suspension bridge and a big stone bridge but no little metal bridge that we both remembered. Things change over time I suppose.

Things change and memories resurface. Nothing was familiar but as I walked by the River Almond and looked at the trees a memory resurfaced I could not believe had taken so long to occur to me. When I uncle died his partner took his ashes and buried them at Almondell. She buried them in a very precise location. My uncle had at some point, probably early in their relationship, carved a love heart with their initials into a tree. Every visit after we would look out for it. As good as it would be to finish by saying I found the tree again I did not. The park is vast and paths lead in many directions. I would not even know where to start looking. I'm not even  sure the tree will still be there. As much as I wanted to find the tree it was a fruitless task and at the time I wanted to return but now I don't. Its the past. Time to move on. With 3 young children getting older its time to make our own memories after over a decade of being absent.