End of an era

My wife's aunt died last week sadly and with it came the end of an era for my wife. She stayed about 6 miles away and the house where she lived had been in her family for a very long time. Its where my father-in-law grew up and as he is in his 80s now it gives some idea of the length of time. But they never owned it. They could have bought it for pennies but for whatever reason chose not to.

It was upsetting for my wife to see then end of that era. It will be more upsetting is she is ever through that way again and sees another family living in it. I remember that from when my gran died. My gran's home was the hub. It was where family met and when she died family no longer met because there was nowhere to meet. And there was no reason to be in the area. But I was once and saw another family had moved in. Its a strange feeling. Its not right- it can't be. Yet it is. Life moves on.

My wife had some final clearing to do today before the house is handed back to the council. I cannot remember the last time I was in the house. A long time ago. Nearly a decade. In those years I have not even be able to get near it except for once and that was a drive by. Today I was in it to say my fairwells too. It was a big thing. A hard thing. I was completely out of my comfort zone and verging on panic even before the car stopped outside. But I wanted to do it. It was my last chance to see a part of my past and if I did not do it then it would forever be a vague memory.

As hard as it was I managed it. My wife insisted I go upstairs which put me even more out of my comfort zone. I didn't want to. Besides the panic I'd never been up the stairs so had no reason to start. But I went and I tried to stay calm and no rush through things. By the time I left I was calm. The panic had passed.

I am glad I went. My memories of places are very vague. It was good to match things up and it all came flooding back. Its a shame to see the place go. Its sad for my wife that she will never step foot in there again. But life does move on. Having done that I must next set my sights on two other places- my parents and my inlaws.