My family upped sticks and went north on Christmas day leaving me not only alone for most of the week but without a camera. Not that I was out and about much to take photos of anything. I have a mobile phone but the camera is crap on it and transferring is a pain. Add to that the lack of light at this time of year and its hard to get a photo that is in focus. I did take some but they were blurry no matter how steady I held the phone. One day I took a photo of our car park strewn with rubbish after gale force winds blow over all the bins but that was unusable. I also have the camcorder which takes photos but the quality is not much better than the phone.
The time alone started with difficulty but eased. This is always the way. Not much to note in that time. I should have enjoyed the silence because when the kids returned I was soon mentally climbing the walls again between the general din, crying, arguing, fighting, huffs, attention seeking and tale telling. They were here at the end of the year and we started the new year as a family.
A new day, a new year. New date, same old shit. Centred around the family meal to start the year. My wife spent most of the day preparing it and as always did a great job. Even the oldest sat down with us at the table despite being in bed for a couple of hours before it ill. She has been poorly the past few days and also has a cough like the boy. To be honest I wasn't much in the mood for a meal. Even at home I get very anxious having to sit at the table for a duration but I did it. A glass of wine helped. I was going to take a family photo around the table on self timer but we were all in our PJs, a lazy day as I said.
So this is just a token photo. A reminder of the day. Might as well enjoy it. My wife goes back to work this week and in a week's time the kids are back at school. Then it will be back to the grind. In the meantime I plan to work on my anxiety and try to get some relief this year. As I said yesterday the year ahead looks bleak for most of the nation. That is outwith my control. Anxiety relief is within my control. Sort of. If it was just a case of choosing then I would choose. But I want to be better by the end of this year regardless of what a mess the country is in and how that effects us financially. I'd like in a year's time to raise a glass and have real reason to toast the coming year.
