Weekend in Perth

Perth is quite possibly my spiritual home. Its not where I was born or where I was brought up and its not where I live now but I lived there for a number of years and its the only place which felt like home. Later in the year I will turn 45 and although only around 10% was spend there its where I feel I belong. Its where my wife and her family are from, where my mum's family lived for a long time and where her mum died while I was living there but as they were estranged I never saw her there. Last year I managed to return there for the first time in a decade and since then I have been back a few times but never for more than a couple of hours. Last weekend I decided to have an overnight at the inlaws. Like any overnight its a plan I am never sure I will be able to follow through but like most other times I was able to. It turned out to be very worthwhile.

Its not often that my wife and I get a night out alone but we did on Saturday. Her parents kindly watched the kids for a few hours while we went to the pub. It was significant. I proposed, rather unromantically, to my wife in my flat in Perth a long time ago and when she accepted we went to her parents and celebrated by going to a pub around the corner. So that is where we returned. It had good memories for me. Not only the engagement but when I lived and worked in Perth I used to go there with a few guys who lived there away from home while working. I lost touch with two of them and the other died but those memories are still clear. It was only a few beers and then a take away before returning home in time to put the kids to bed. A good night and given how we live with no family near at hand possibly needed. My wife and I don't get a lot of "us time" so to get it was worthwhile.

The following day I made the most of things. While everyone else went to Church I, the atheist, headed out for a long walk. It didn't go as planned but that turned out to be good. My plan had been to walk to Scone Palace but after a mile of walking I started to realise it was further away than I remembered so abandoned those plans. I had memories of the place my wife and her family go at Easter to roll eggs and have a picnic which was close by so went there. I also had vague memories of being there one time and walking down railway track with a train passing nearby. It was just a vague memory so I started walking and saw a train in the distance so went in that direction. It turns out the track was high up above the water with a path high up beside it. It was also very windy. It was a mixture of excitement and a little worry as I walked along the track but all was OK. Where to? What I did not know was there is an island in Perth. For all the time I lived there I did not know that. Moncrieffe Island is its name. I could have went down the stairs to it but decided instead just to walk over it as there was not much to it. Walking on my journey took me back into town.

I walked through a lot of old haunts including the shopping centre which at the moment is hosting the "Oor Wullie bucket trail" so lots of those little guys in different garbs dotted around the city. Behind my inlaws house is the Black Watch museum which at the moment has the "Poppies: Weeping Window" on display which have made their way up from the Tower of London. I didn't go into it but took a photo from afar. It was a great morning on my own exploring. I really enjoyed it but I was shattered by the time I finally got back home to the inlaws after they finished up at church.

Later all of my wife's family appeared and so all the cousins were able to let off steam playing in the garden. It was good to catch up with everyone and it was starting to feel natural again. This used to be the norm when I lived up there. That is gone but things in general are starting to feel both normal and familiar again. I do feel like anxiety has been like a bungee jump and when I started this blog I was at the lowest point and for a long time seemed to stay there but in this last year or so I have started to come back up and on the way passing all the lost things which were now returning and familiar and at some point will be back into my life again. I am no longer impatient. I can see it all happening and no longer relying on hope. I know now I will get there and am well on my way there. And I also know I can never go backwards again.