If any one should know just how detrimental fear is then it is me living with it as I have for so long now. One of many fears has been that this would manifest in my children and the middle child I am most concerned about. But as I think on this I have completely overlooked the oldest child and her current predicament. Last night she complained of a sore throat and today she was white as a sheet. My wife said when she dropped her off at school her knuckles were white with gripping her. And we expect a phone call from the school to say she is ill again and has not ate her lunch. We expect her to be ravenous as a result when she comes home from school. I should have even taken note this morning when she said her brother was lucky because he doesn't have to go outside at break time. This has been going on for a while, too long. And as usual my head has been too stuck in my own problems to notice.
Over the past few months we have had unusually strong winds as most of the country has. This is the problem. It terrifies her. I have said to her there is nothing to be afraid of. Especially in school. It won't do her any harm. And she agrees but looks with the fear in her eyes. It is an intensely strong fear too. It doesn't help where we are situated as its at the bottom of a long open street with a motorway flyover at the top. The wind really howls down it. Sometimes I struggle to breathe coming up the street if its strong and have been blown of the steps a few times while opening the door. It broke our car door such was its ferocity.
It is the unseen fear. Its not visible but is audible and is its sound which scares my daughter so much. The curtains could be closed but she still hears the howling banshee ripping at the home and shaking it and it scares the life out of her. Given my anxiety, fear, problems you would think I would be well versed to tackle this problem. I did, think that. But the truth is I cannot get on top of my own so how can I advise someone else? I just don't know but will have to find some way to do it as I can see this phobia just getting worse over time and I would rather deal with it now than let it escalate into other problems.
