Its a month since my last post and to be honest I felt the need to post just to say something rather than because I have something to say. Life is a journey and this recover is part of the journey for me. After years of looking on I suddenly started to move forward quickly and in the wave of adrenaline I thought I would just keep going. By now I expected to be applying for jobs and going East and West on the train and getting ever closer to the normality I once knew. But adrenaline is a short burst and it spends itself quickly. That is what has happened.. I have put my head down and sprinted and as the last ounce of energy is used I looked up expecting to see the end in sight but instead just seen more road all the way to the vanishing point.
I should say its not something to worry about. If I had started the year knowing I would be at this point then I would have been over the moon. At the start of the year it was all about a bus journey out of town and earlier this month with a sore back I would that few miles there and back. One time not so long ago I could not walk the half mile to school and yet the first week of this month I walked 40 miles. Its actually crazy progress after so long in limbo and exciting not just for me but for the kids too. That is why I think I am disappointed its all come to stop for now. Its the next step. That is the concept I have to accept. I have to see I have come so far and treat this period as a breather. I am, I suppose, trying to find my feet and makes sure my footing is solid where I am before attempting to walk further on.
Still I go out and the youngest girl mostly is my companion when I am not alone. The boy is too young for long walks and the oldest is too cool for muddy walks. The photo above is from a place where a large retreat house used to be on a large estate but is now long gone. Its a favourite haunt as there are different types of dragonflies and birds and an old viaduct over the river. Across the water are all the large expensive houses from neighbouring Bothwell. Mostly we walk for walkings sake but we are always on the look out for wildlife.
After lots of near misses finally a deer photo. As I expected it came by chance. I was down there crouched down on my own taking photos of red dragonflies when I saw something move out the corner of my eye. Not a great photo but best I could get with just a 42mm lens on full zoom. A larger focal length lens is on my wish list though for all I would use it maybe a cheap bridge camera would be better. Captured at least and as if a roe deer was not enough I also got a couple of fallow deer too on our travels which were even further away and harder to spot
Something at least. That was on a drive. For now the drives have dried up and with winter on the way and the roads soon to grind to a halt the drives may be over until the new year. But there is plenty to be getting on with locally and for that I am thankful. This has been a very quick year. Too quick really. It just seems to have whizzed past. A good year though. So far the best. And still time to add to it hopefully once this lull is over. As the leaves fall from the trees the wildlife has less cover to hide and there is in general more to see. The landscapes change and so I will be out with my camera and my walking companion back on the road again in no time at all.
3 comments:
I was just thinking I hadn't seen a post from you for ages and then here one was. Obviously I'd seen on Twitter that you were still getting out and about. I wouldn't worry too much about hitting a bit of a platau. As long as you're moving forwards, no matter how slow, or even just staying the same for a while, you're not going backwards, and that's what really matters. Take it easy, enjoy the amazing progress you've made and I'm sure more will come in time.
Love the pictures - you're so lucky having those deer nearby :D
You have made so much progress, so you are allowed to stop, get your breath back and admire the view. When you are ready you can set off again and go further. At least you have the confidence to know you CAN do it.
Thank you both for the kind words and encouragement.
@Nioniel: We are very lucky to have such wildlife near at hand. It makes each walk a bit of an adventure and gives the kids a reason to come along.
@Addy: I think you are right about it being a breather. Things have progressed so fast I think I've gotten a bit overwhelmed with it all and need some time to reflect.
Post a Comment