I have never heard the boy say "I" yet but in the past few weeks he has learned his sense of self and more importantly to him what he possesses, what is rightfully his. It wasn't there at Christmas when he didn't bother so much who played with his presents but it was certainly there at the weekend when he celebrated his third birthday and spent the day fighting with anyone who dared touch one of his presents.
I saw this but the penny didn't drop when my parents, sister and her two kids were in and my wife brought through, amongst other things, a bowl of sweets. The boy was right over with both arms around the bowl and when anyone tried to dip in a hand he was battering it off. So it led to me moving fastly backward away from said bowl with the boy in mid air still running in full sprint and howling like banshee with arms spread out in protestation. As soon as I plumped him down he went flying towards the table knocking his younger cousin, table and treats that were upon over in a manic lunge. I couldn't believe how he was acting and birthday boy or not wasn't having it. But my wife quickly saw why. She had put the sweets in 'his' bowl. A quick change of bowl and disaster was averted leading to a much calmer birthday boy.
But is possession obsession remained unabated and didn't stop with himself. I gave my mum a book to look at which I had read and thought she might like. While she did this I had a good play with her Kindle which is a great bit of kit. Left me wanting one but why I don't know as basically its still reading a book. But twice as I played with it the boy appeared with the book I had given my mum. After this second time I once again gave the book back to my mum and she started reading where she left off. I sat and watched. As soon as she engages in conversation with someone she put down the book and no sooner had she done that than the boy was picking it up and running over to me with a sideways glance at my mum. Not just that but with everything. Everything in its right place, by the boy's rules. So no "I" yet but plenty of "Me", "My" and "Nay-un's"- this pronunciation of his own name.
So I was surprised sitting in the car park outside a shop that he let me have his doodly pad or whatever its called- pic above. Some magnetic drawing thing that you can wipe like an etch-a-sketch. After reluctance in the first and second week of the year and much putting off we finally went out for a drive as I said in a previous post. They have been going well and already this week we have clocked up nearly 90 miles. But waiting I don't like and there has been a lot of that so when my wife had to go into a shop leaving me and the boy in the car I looked for distraction and found it in his little toy. The fight I was expecting was not there thankfully. So we spent the time getting him to suggest things and me drawing them. The above is a portrait of the boy which is a bit cruel looking but made him laugh- part on purpose and part poor drawing skills with a little bit of restrictiveness to magnetic drawing thrown in. And it was good to spend time with the boy having a laugh and not thinking about where I was and how I should be panicking. The thing itself is only small. It was a cheap pack of two with this travel one and a bigger one for the house which has been a hit with the girls who doodle on the bigger one for hours- when the boy allows.
But I'm still left sadden a little by this phase we all pass through. It brings only angst and anger for the boy. As soon as we get that sense of "I" we start to fight for it where as before that we was quite a placid little lad. I can see the change. Its not a good change but one we all progress through. At the moment he doesn't understand the concept of sharing- or maybe he does as illustrated. On the whole though not. That will be the next step. And later in life we will learn what to share, who to share it with and when to share it. All the little brain processes and procedures we learn throughout life.
