I've been looking through some anxiety stuff and the different facets of helping in recovery. One of the most interesting I found was concerning meditation. Not the practice itself but some of the theory behind it. I could relate to it even if the act itself I found a little harder. Like this:
"Eastern philosophy has taught that the origin of human suffering is in our automatic, conditioned thoughts"
I can see that. Automatic thoughts being those ones that don't come from the consciousness but instead are there in your face before you can do anything about them. Conditioned because they are a product of all the previous times before like a habit that is instinctual. Human suffering, to a degree but lets be honest there is more external human suffering in the shape of wars, famine, natural disaster, terminal illness and lots more than internal.
In terms of anxiety though I see it. At its extreme in the form of panic it feels like immense suffering that no-one can fully understand unless they have experienced it. It is a state of torment. And crucially because there is actually no threat it is a suffering based on automatic conditioned thinking patterns.
That is all well and good but what to do? Therein lies the big question. I firmly believe, although I have read different many times, that its not in the genes. We are not born that way. It is very much a condition of living. When we are born we are without fear and fear is taught to us. Maybe there is a balance to be struck. Maybe each individual needs a different balance. Maybe that balance comes in the form of what is taught and what is found out first hand.
What I am certain of is that a young child is fearless unless they have been subjected to a trauma of some sort which imprints itself. Each day lived and each experience shapes that balance. We learn fear. Some learn enough, some learn too much. How we cope with fear is based on every day that went before and what we experienced to that point.
It takes me back to the one thing I found of interest in the ACT workbook. That state of being able to disentangle yourself from the thoughts that you have so fused with that you believe them to be true. And in untangling yourself you are able to observe at a distance and watch without interacting. In fact I have read a few books of late coming from different angles saying the same thing. Basically by observing the automatic patterns at a distance you then don't have to react. I see and agree that it is not the thoughts themselves that are the problem but the reaction to them and if that is because the thoughts and reactions are fused as one to become automatic. In theory it sounds right.
Even better is the theory of meditation being a practice that can, possibly, allow you to find awareness- awareness being that original unconditioned state below the maelstrom of thinking. According to what I read that pure state is always there but is obscured by the mind chatter we develop by years of living and gaining life experiences. Imagine if you could tap into that. Imagine if you could stop these thoughts at source. But for the moment its all just words and second hand experience. Like anything else I think you would have to experience these things first hand to believe them. Still I can't help thinking that this makes more sense to me that a lot of the other stuff I have read. Each person is different but in my case automatic thinking is definitely the biggest problem. So with another big book in hand I am off to give it a go.
