Today I had an overwhelming urge to visit Amazonia, a small indoor rain forest with tropical animals. It was the itch I am incapable of scratching. The agitated want of something beyond my grasp, at the moment. Fuelled no doubt by a monthly photo competition I enter in the hope of winning a new camera. This month the theme is wildlife and the gallery is littered with the beauty of natural world. From the vulnerable to the deadly, from the small to the large. There are underwater snaps of fish to lions in the grass. A huge assortment. Not only did it indicate that this is a theme I have no chance of competing in but also it gave me a taste for what I am missing, things I long to see beyond the bricks and mortar. I'm sick of the same old drab scenery and long for something new to look at.
Looking through the images I have taken from the last year, all photos have to be taken with a particular brand of camera for the competition, I could find only insects, birds and the occasional swan. Its a pretty lame collection in comparison so this month I will have to content myself with the old adage that "its the taking part that counts and not the winning". A little ladybird, garden spider or distant swan will be slid into the pile when no one is looking. Not to worry. Next month its a different theme.
The photograph above was taken four years ago next month on my oldest daughter's third birthday. Up to that point there was a trend I had forgotten about and also forgotten how much I miss it. On her first birthday we took her to Deep Sea World where she wasn't old enough to appreciate the wonders that her father was lapping up. Pirhanas, various colours of frogs and the underwater tunnel to view the sharks and other fish. For her second birthday we took her to Blairdrummond Safari Park which contains enough wildlife to keep me occupied. Every animal you can imagine in a zoo but with the freedom. We went on a little boat to watch chimps on a little island, walked over a wooden bridge to view the bears playing in the water, got up head height with the giraffes and so many other things. It was a really good day out, that is one place I do miss. My wife had been back there twice with the kids and other family for various things but it didn't cross my mind at those times just how much I was missing out.
For my daughter's third birthday as I said we went to Amazonia. I was glad. Anxiety had changed from being an irritation to being more of a burden. We only had to drive 5 minutes from the house which was fine, at the time. The walk though from the car park into the complex I found difficult as I had this urge to leave and was getting very uncomfortable. You go up some stairs into a big area and into the centre of this complex which houses a pub, a burger bar and rows upon rows of fruit machines which are blaring out their tunes. Then its out into the open air where all the park rides are and the music is so loud that the ground beneath trembles and your body shakes to the bass. Finally after more walking you reach a little building, go down some stairs, through a reception area and arrive in a large intensely hot breathless room filled with tropical animals and plants. I remember there is one area you go into which I think contains bats and the curtain you pass through to it is a mass of leather strips. You push through into a dark dank room filled with the smell of stale sweat. And after all the viewing, which doesn't take long at all, there is the long road back to the car. Doesn't sound appealing but for me its the nearest at hand. And still I want to go there. That isn't going to happen between now and the end of the month but it will happen again and when it does I will know I am on the right track.
That was the last birthday day out I participated in. My youngest daughter celebrated her birthday the following month but we didn't go out. And we, as a family, haven't gone out since. Its something I want to change and Amazonia seems the best place to start. Its not about a competition now but for the benefit of us all. Rationalising it I think to myself its too far to go and its too long to stay out. When I was looking though those photos for something that resembled wildlife I found ones from the loch next to Amazonia taken at the end of last year. I then noted that the time between the first one I took and the last one I took was nearly an hour and I had been walking about that whole time. So it is possible even if that stronger voice keeps telling me it isn't. I can type that but can't seem to believe it or at least not enough to dominate that doubting voice. Maybe only by doing it will I be able to shut it up. Something to aim for anyway.
