Last night I had a rare period of time. It did take until 1 am but it allowed a time to relax. On a Friday and a Saturday my wife and I allow ourselves a bottle of wine. So I was halfway through lying back on the couch with the laptop resting. The girls had gone to sleep around 4 hours before, the baby about 2 hours before and my wife about 10 minutes after another long day. So I pulled out the headphones, plugged them into the laptop and decided to listen to some music. A rare thing with young children.
And it was good. I wouldn't say I was totally relaxed but as relaxed as I can be kicking back and letting the sounds fill my head. The wine was calming and I was enjoying it. As it turned out I enjoyed it too much. When the wine was finished I noticed it was 3:30 which was a shock. So I must have been enjoying myself. Yesterday I had a record 3 walks and not only broke the 1km mark but managed 1.5km- incidentallly I didn't walk at all today. This has tired my body which was good because it was relaxed.
So the songs played one after the other and I chopped and changed between. Then I decided to listen to a CD I hadn't heard for years. So it was good to listen to it again and I made my way through the tracks. Then something strange happened- good strange. I was listening to a track and all of a sudden I started to feel feelings from the past. Feelings I remember feeling years ago listening to the same CD. It was a really warming feeling. I can't describe what it was but it was like an awakening once more these emotions. It was good. It happened with a few of the tracks. Really I was enjoying myself.
It got me thinking. There are lots of old CDs I have which I haven't listened to for years up in the loft. I'll now have to look them out. They are really not ones that I would normally be in any hurry to hear but there are some I remember held emotions for me and I want to see if these can be rekindled.
It really was a nice experience. It was like being taken back to a different time- a time of normality. There was something quite comforting about it. Now there is a real desire to do it again. I guess it comes from feeling that my old self is not lost, its just in the past. And like all life events can be experienced again. But all that aside it was just nice to have a period away from the anxiety in a happy place.
