Oldest Girl (to her mother): We need a helper at school. The teacher said so.
Wife: What type of helper?
Oldest Girl: A mummy or a daddy to help in school.
Wife: Well I can't honey because I work.
Oldest Girl: I know but can who can be my helper?
Me: It has to be someone who doesn't work. *Bites lip in realisation*
Oldest Girl: I know...daddy you don't work.
Me: Mmm...that's right.
Oldest Girl: But you don't leave the house, do you?
Me: Eh. No that's right.
*Long pause as I wait for the inevitable follow up*
Oldest Girl: Why don't you go out the house daddy?
Me: Eh...ah...well...I'm lazy.
Oldest Girl: *Laugh* You're silly daddy.
Me: *Smiles outside, cringes inside*
At some point I am going to have to explain this situation to my oldest daughter who is obviously picking up on it and starting to question it. Even her younger sister said the other day said "You don't go to the shops do you daddy?". It is impossible not to notice and I have no doubt in the oldest's case at least it may come up in conversation at school and make her ponder all the more. At six years old I am not sure she would understand but more than that I am not really sure how to explain it without lying. At some point though I am going to have to for her sake.
Some
time ago I came to the conclusion that everything needs to be out in
the open. I told my family and my wife told hers. A secret life was not
reflecting well on my wife and me neither for that matter. By getting it
all out in the open I hoped people would be more understanding and much
to my surprise on the whole they were. To my face anyway because there
is the occasional slip from my wife where she has obviously been told
I'm a waste of space. Revealing all though did not have the long term
desired effect I hoped for. The initial understanding was soon forgotten
and now its as if I never said a thing. I get the feeling that there
are a few people waiting for me to get a grip of myself and then
everything will be OK. In this period of openness though I forgot the
children. At the time they were too young to understand but as time
passes they are becoming more in need of that knowledge to stop them
getting confused. The last thing I want is my own kids tip toeing around
me.
