I've come to learn one way of telling whether I am having a good day or not. Time is the measure. Or more precisely my awareness of its passing. Today was a good day despite a really dark start. Today I looked at the clock and it was the back of seven.. I didn't rise till noon but that time had flown in between- a good sign. Yesterday, a very bad day, dragged. Every time I looked there were hours upon hours left of the day until bed time.
It was my turn for a lie in today which is why I rose at noon. I can't say I feel any benefit but I don't feel as tired as I did yesterday. This will be offset tomorrow when my wife has her turn and I will no doubt be woken at the crack of dawn by the kids. Its not just a case of getting up with them and getting them breakfast but the baby needs breakfast too now. He is on solids and my wife isn't buying jars- preferring instead to make her own meals. Well that means me too so for the first time I'm going to have to make a meal to feed him with. That will at least hopefully keep me occupied.
Yesterday I had such a bad day that I was shattered by late evening. I had a fear that the growing symptoms were a sinister something working on me and not ever going to get any better. But halfway through a glass of wine I realised all the symptoms were gone. I actually felt as fine as I can do. So then I knew all this is in my head.
Today I've had the usual onslaught of symptoms. My face is tight and tired, the throat is tight and lumpy, I've developed a twitch on my lip and I feel very shitty but I have managed to accept alot because of that bottle of wine. I can see that its all in my head- mostly. Its not easy but I think I'm coping better today than I was yesterday and time is going by quicker so that must be the case.
But anyway, the point of this post is that how I am doing is indicated by how much I clock watch. If I am not looking at the time I am having a good day.
